another year.

July 19, 2018 3 Comments

another year.

I’ve hashed out the ten most impactful things I learned this year, but really it all boiled down to one simple TRUTH that my 5 year old boldly spoke. 

March 31st, we had a brush fire get out of control and make its way fiercely to our lawn. My phone was dead, my car was dead, and standing in our driveway engulfed in smoke, I lost it. 

Time slowed down. I felt the strong hot wind in my face. I calculated how far it would travel toward our home. I remembered I needed to find the kitty and the dog. I was wrecked with fear, with the distinct thought: does anyone know this is happening?! 

I couldn’t see anything but smoke. I couldn’t feel anything but heat. I couldn’t process anything but fear. 

This story ends happy. 30 or more volunteer fire fighters flew onto my lawn and fought the fire for hours, keeping our home safe and sound. 

The black hillside was shocking once the smoke cleared. 

It was a stark contrast to what used to be thick with green brush and overgrown landscape. 

Bare. Black. Dead. 

The jury’s still out whether or not my beloved Russian Olive trees will survive. 

Life can be like that, you know. 

Times of panic, fear, and confusion. Times of feeling desperately alone and no matter how fast you run through your house trying to figure out what belongings mean the most, and where the kitty is, and how you’re going to get your two little girls to safety, you still don’t have the right answers. Times when there are no solutions, and no end in sight. 

Hard, painful, yet cleansing, moments. 

Sometimes they leave us feeling dead inside, black, empty. 

I know. But I’m learning the sacred work those times can have on our soul. 

A few days ago my 5 year old, Callie, boldly declared out of the blue:

“Our hill will be green again someday.”

To which I replied, “you think so?” 

“I know it.”

I felt a strong burning within me— out of the mouths of babes. 

What if we had that kind of faith for US? 

What if no matter what our hillside look like today, we KNEW, they would be flourishing again someday? 

The most impactful thing I learned this year was exactly that— The Lord leads His sheep to green pastures, and although for a season flames might tear through them, or drought kills off what was once growing, or smoke threatens our peace to destroy…

Our lives WILL be green again. 

Green with growth, thick with faith, flourishing in love. 

This year I watched what was once seemingly dead and bare, become green again. I watched my faith truly flourish THROUGH hard seasons and moments and crushing personal blows. I experienced a newfound trust in God lace it’s way THROUGH all circumstances. I felt unwavering love crashing through the doubt and fear. 

I began to see green. To feel alive. To KNOW. 

God is good. YOU ARE LOVED. 

& all is well. 

 

I also learned that I really really really like blueberries. 

Who knew? ;) 




3 Responses

Jennifer Clegg
Jennifer Clegg

October 10, 2018

Thank you so much. I needed this, especially now

Audra
Audra

July 26, 2018

Oh how I needed to read these words this morning. I’ve been in a deep cleansing and faith building season for the past year and while it’s been filled with eye opening experiences there are still parts of my life that I struggle to find the faith that it will all be made right in the end. Thank You!!!
And man, I’m glad that there was a happy ending to your fire experience. How terrifying.

Kari
Kari

July 20, 2018

This is beautiful … inspiring. Thank you.

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