restored.

21ish days ago, the world felt like it was in a free fall. 

Every day, every hour, more breaking news. Piece by piece disassembling normal. 

Circumstances well outside of our control, unexpectedly pulled out the drawers of our lives and dumped them upside down. 

At first, all I could feel was fear, it gripped onto my heart with a vengeance. 

The fear had taken on a life form on it's own, tangled in it's web of panic and grief and gloom, I couldn't move. Couldn't move away from my phone, from the news, from the literal minute my minute turn of events. 

"choose yes"... "choose yes"... "unreasonable faith.."

And with those words, a still and small voice quietly knocked... 

I felt it suddenly, in the quiet minutes at the kitchen sink. At the white kitchen table in the sunshine. 

I heard it quietly, in the minutes in-between the unceasing prayers. 

I saw it subtly, in the goodness in humanity, lifting where we stand. 

This weekend we celebrate 200 years since God began Restoring His gospel to His children.

And, in a strange turn of events, I find myself celebrating a restoration of.... something else too. 

A restoration of a heart soft and open and remembering. 
A restoration of faith and hope and charity. 
A restoration of simplicity and family and community. 
A restoration of worship and neediness and smallness. 

a few weeks ago, I prayed for life to go back to normal. 
today I pray a different prayer. 
my heart longs for different things. 

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Please, Lord, don't let us stay the same. 

Let us be changed. 
Fully restored, in you. 

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YOU ARE LOVED. 
Courtney