i didn't grow up out here, so it's been an adjustment, to say the least.
i say things like "going to town" and i get eggs from my neighbor, who lives 10 minutes away. i roll through stop signs and my kids run around my yard naked, because there's no one to hide from.
yeah. i know. rural living at it's finest. (the un-finest parts are for another time;)

recently i was watching the cows in my neighbors field.
they do this strange thing.
when one cow starts walking fast, maybe even a little slight jog, the other cows around her will start to walk fast too, and soon they're racing.
all the cows, running.
to nowhere.

they're just running, because the girl next to her is running.
they're running, in the snow, to nowhere in particular.

why?!

they're cows.
i get it. not the smartest animal in the bunch.
but as i watched this play out, it was like all of a sudden, I GOT IT.

because i do the same exact thing sometimes.

do you?

the internet makes the world seem so, RIGHT NOW.
urgent.
run.
they're running, so i better be running too, because if i'm not running, i'm behind them. i don't want to be behind, because maybe what they're running to is better, more, bigger, shiner. what if she gets there first?! what will that mean about me?! so RUN! if they're running. i'm running. no questions asked. all intuition, thought, inspiration fly out the window.
run.

but. wait.
we're not cows.

we're smarter than that.
we're more in tune than that!
we're worth more than that.

this morning and i read a prayer journal entry on the scripture in Matthew "be still, and know".

i find myself very busy.
and moving fast.
moving from one thing to the next thing to the next.

from one good thing to the next.

but.
do i ever run, just to run?

yes.
yes i do.

i value a still small voice that leads me.
that calls me and pushes me toward what God wants me to do and be.
i need that inspiration in my day.
every hour.

if i'm being a cow, running, just to run. just to "keep up".....
the still and small voice gets pushed out.
drowned out.
and left unheard.

and i'm left tired.
worn out.
lost.
running....

"be still" God tells us.

not, "be still, as long as everyone else is being still too."

be still.
in confidence.
in assurance.
in trust.

and know.

and then, maybe we'll find somewhere worth running to.
toward Him.