Welcome to Courtney Casper Letters!
okay. my first official blog post over here. it's kind of weird. I'm trying to feel comfortable. it's kind of like the first week after you move into a new house.
you sometimes wake up and forget where you are.
I'm in that stage of new website living I guess.
bear with me!
I've been thinking a lot lately about two and a half years ago. I had a brand new baby. life was scary. and uncertain. I was turned upside down in my faith, in my living situation, and in my heart.
if you had told that fragile, nursing, up every two hours, covered in spit up, girl that in two and a half years life would be different. I might've started to cry.
I would probably have assumed the worst. because I was living in doomsday 24/7.
I wouldn't have ever ever believed that id be working on a pretty new website. or tucking my girls in to bed in our new home. I didn't have hope, so I don't think I would've believed you if you'd told me that Jake (my little brother) rang some fancy gong at the cancer hospital yesterday marking the end of another treatment. sure it's yet to be determined if it's working, but he's here! and skiing. and giving me marketing advice nonetheless.
I don't know if I'd believe you if you told me that I am happy. a deep kind of fulfilled happy when my head his the pillow. (even if that's really late) that I have faith again. the kind of faith that I have to work for, sure, but it's also the kind that leads the way instead of sits on a shelf now.
I couldn't wrap my mind around the beautiful opportunities to teach, reach out, commune and connect with others across the world. I wouldn't be able to even consider it a possibility in ten thousand years.
I wouldn't understand the feeling of being loved so deeply by another person that they are willing to look past all of your crap. all of your craziness, ugliness, and giant walls.
I couldn't appreciate the kind of friendship that sticks with you no matter what. that goes out on a limb to softly tell you you're playing with fire. the kind of sisterhood that can come from such friendships, and the fierce loyalty of other women.
two and half years ago, I thought a lot about my life and the future.
don't believe everything you think.
12 comments
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