Christmas Notes

Christmas Notes

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A few weeks ago I posted a very vulnerable photo of myself having a moment in my kitchen.. the tears just would not be held in another second, and the heaviness physically hunched me over onto the counter. 

I shared that day that while I have made a promise to God to show up for you in faith… He wanted you to see that side of the lens as well. 

I wrote that maybe someone there needed to know they weren’t alone in their feelings… that they needed to see that faith isn’t always happy and smiling and filtered and instagrammable. 

I didn’t know who needed that message, and it was uncomfortable to put it out there, but I just knew someone needed to know that even THERE, they were seen and held and worthy and loved. 

My inbox has never held so much sorrow as it did that day. 

Each message that rolled was another link in the chain that is a sisterhood formed through those moments.. hundreds of messages saying, me too. Me too. 

My inbox is a gift to my own weary heart. 

I wish each one of you could peek into the REAL parts of you lives and feel the godly connection that comes when we pull back the curtain and show the vulnerable pieces of who we are… 

A few years ago at our stakes girls camp, each girl was given a small square piece of watercolor paper with numbered sections drawn in pencil. Each number had a paint color assigned, and they were directed to paint their square accroding to the coordinating color. 

Most girls groaned and grumbled about these abstract pieces of art. Some were all brown, or strange hues of peach and red. Some had tiny intricate sections requiring much attention to detail. 

At the end of a powerful peace walk through the mountains, the girls ended their walk in the dark on a narrow trail by the small creek. At the end was a lit up 10ft tall panting of their Savior. Hands outstretched, each square previously painted by the girls were put together to create a breathtaking piece of artwork. 

I was standing at the end of the trail, fighting off mosquitos in the dark, I watched as each girl quietly approached the painting… as they drew closer, the light from Christ lit up their faces more and more. 

Some stood quietly alone, hands over their mouths in awe. Others clutched newly found friends hands and arms, French braids and bandanas, linked together in the quiet sacredness of the moment. 

You are them. 

We all have our own stories, our own heartaches and sorrows and doubts and unanswered questions and fears and failures and shame and hidden moments hunched over kitchen sinks tears that cannot be stopped…

We really do. 

I know it, because YOU have told me so. 

And we all have a Savior waiting at the end of those dark narrow paths… the closer we get to Him, the more light and comfort and peace He can surround us with. 

The world awaited His birth, generations of people on their own dark and narrow paths leading to unknown tomorrows waited for Him to come, waited for His presence, his rescuing, his peace and comfort. 

And he to the world he came, to set free the captive, to love the ashamed, to redeem our humanity, and to enlighten every dark and narrow path. 

His light is not reserved for the lucky few. There is no VIP guest list to His glory and love… 

You are His sheep… His little one… His beloved. 

Wherever you find yourself today… you are not alone there. 

Feel what demands to be felt, and then lift up your eyes to the One who will hold you through it all, today tomorrow, and until even the bitter end. 

For unto you is born this day, a Savior, a rescuer, a redeemer, a friend. 

Arms always extended, you are known, heard, and LOVED. 

1 comment

Mary Kay Steeves
Mary Kay Steeves

I am reading this on Jan.6, 2020. Just “came upon” it but oh, how I needed it! Thank you so very much.

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