on a new year.

Some years I stand expectantly at the threshold of a new year. Excited and eager with my list of resolutions and goals thoughtfully recorded and planned out. 

And some years I get hucked into the new year like a tumble weed that fly's across my lawn in the spring. 

This year was one of those flying tumble weed kind of years. 

Every January I attempt to go through the endless abyss of papers and things stashed over the last 12 (or more) months in my office. It is an all day affair that I have to break from and come back to often because it's just a lot to process through. 

I have attachments to scraps of paper that is borderline unhealthy. ha! 

Today was that day. The day I pulled it all out, and bravely decided what could stay, and what needed let go of. 

I don't remember what my "goals" were for 2018. But as I went through stack after stack of art and notes and abandoned scribbles I came upon a piece of lined paper with a monthly outline of what I was going to "do" in 2018. It started in February and went through December. Month by month marketing ideas and projects and personal intentions to deepen my faith and tighten my boundaries with things like Instagram and work. 

I am 98% sure I made most of the things happen on that list. 

But the really cool thing I saw was all the things that came to fruition that I wasn't expecting or planning. Creative projects as well as personal growth. 

It was like God filled in the spaces between the lines. 

I especially saw that in the bottom right hand corner of this piece of paper, "finish a book by Jan 2019". I do not remember writing that down. I wasn't thinking about that "deadline" in the hours and hours spent writing and rewriting and praying over said book. I just kept walking toward this thing I felt calling my name. 

I felt inspired to jot it down in Jan 2018, and although this piece of paper became buried in other things, God didn't forget about it. In fact, I'm learning that when we make goals or resolutions or intentions, perhaps there is wisdom in leaving space for Him to fill in the cracks. Intentionally leaving a line for Him to leave His mark, and make magic happen that we couldn't create on our own. 

"book" had no name, no outline, no concept yet. There was no plan of action, no month to start, no weekly to-do list. It was just a small thought, a tiny seed. 

That seed was planted right then and there, and while I had forgotten all about it's birth, God didn't let it go forgotten. He truly worked magic and miracles all throughout my lists and goals, because without even really knowing it, I'd left room for Him. 

As we take inventory of what worked and what didn't in 2018, and set new intentions for 2019, may we leave space between our own ideas and priorities for God to work and stretch and grow us into who He has in mind for the next 12 months. May we leave space for the purposes He has in store for our lives. May we leave room for His magic and miracles on purpose, because after all we can do, He is the life and the light and the way.

This little scribble is proof of that.