on comparison.

I posted a page of my personal prayer journal the other day, and it resonated with so many others I've been trying to form this thought in my head, but I just can't get it all right. I thought maybe if I typed it out, I could finally get it from my heart onto a page (even a digital page will do!)

About 3 years ago, I bought this book on amazon. I think I started it, and had all the great intentions to finish it as I brought it up to my husbands family cabin. But, I never really thought about it again until I don't even know how long later, we were up at the same cabin and a small white book sitting on the wooden bookshelf caught my eye. 

I picked it up and I didn't recognize the title right away. As I opened it, I noticed some lines underlined and a scribbled heart on the first page. THIS WAS MY BOOK! I started reading it, and couldn't put it down.

it was speaking into my heart things that had been there all along. it was opening things in me that I didn't know existed. it was threading poetry and god and art into the very essence of my being and I was changed. 

The one thing so many of you told me over the last few days is how paralyzing comparison is through Instagram. and let me tell you- I get it. I get it 100%. I am also very clear that the comparison demon doesn't just sneak into our art through social media, but our motherhood, our body image, our faith and religions, our relationships and jean brand and hair color and home size and followers and shops and on and on and ON. 

We have something to say. Something to share. something to express. something to create, be, believe, care about, speak about, we have a life to live, but the thought that it has been done before, said before, created before, believed before, been before, cared about before, LIVED BEFORE creates another paralyzing thought:

Who do I think I am?

It's been done better. said better. created better.

Who do I think I am?

it's been believed enough. spoken about before.

Who do I think I am?

I understand the fear. I understand the frustration. I understand the defeated knot in our stomachs begging to be enough. Aching to be more. Wishing for that success. 

So, listen to me now. 

Who cares? 

There are no perfectly original ideas. No perfectly new words or creations. There is no such thing as shiny never had before beliefs or things to care about. 

You have just as much right, place, and purpose than any one else to say it, be it, create it, or believe it. 

The thing that I have had to remind myself, heart, body, and soul is what my own definition of "success" is. I want to let you in on this secret mantra of mine, that I've never really told anyone but has truly changed my life in every way:

I am successful when I am living art and reflecting God in every movement I make. 

Success isn't measured for me in numbers. not in boxes checked or packages shipped. 

it is measured in connections made, and the moments when I say that one thing even when I don't know why or how. It's measured in standing feet firmly planted in the crunchy leaves with my kids running wild. it's measured in saying "hi" to every person I pass on my walk. in being, creating, saying what God puts on my heart- without a second thought to anything else. 

God doesn't create fear. 

God doesn't create comparison. 

Measuring our lives next to some one else is a trap created to rob us of becoming who God has created us, in His image, to be. 

You are art. You have the ability to reflect God. You have the words. the creations. the art. you have the purpose and your success isn't measured by anything other than the million little ways art comes out when you decide to step into your full being, fearlessly armed with God on your side. 

The world would be a more full and beautiful place with you in it. and not just standing in the corner- YOU. Fully awake and alive to the inner power you possess. The inner confidence and peace. We need your heart and thoughts. We need your perspective and kindness. We need your faith and voice. We need your realness and vulnerability. We need more of you, in your corner of the world.